LOL, INACTIVITY

Sheesh, so much for frequent updates. Hopefully the quantity of sheer garbage I stuff up your happy holes tonight will make up for my last update being mid-November.

Let's see what I've got piled up, starting with the usual Exponent shitfuckery!

Article that concerned a festive marching band. Never ran, but I'm pretty sure I still got paid so it's all good!

For the last Tailgate Guide of the season, concerning the longstanding rivalry between IU and Perdoo and their battle for the Old Oaken Bucket. Shit, guys, it's just a bucket, simmer down.

(We lost, by the way)

Pete dunkin' a basketball. Pass the beer nuts.

Some decorative yuletide poop for an Entertainment Guide. Deadline nipping at my heels completely fucked Santa's right hand because I can't perspective very well when under pressure.

Now that that's over with, time for more of my typical, rarely-finished shit!

Good old Curly and Quote. Cave Story came up for whatever reason while I was nerding out with a handful of pals over Skype, and this abomination was the result. Quote's lookin' an awful lot like Chuck Balls minus the turkey...

I know he's supposed to talk backwards, but I never found the Vagineer vids that funny. However, the concept still slays me.

Great googly moogly, what could this be? You will soon find out.

Lastly, as inspired by Dino Max's recent slough of oooooold comic goodness, I decided to dig up this old yarn I cobbled together one slow New Year's back in high school. While normally I'm quick to toss my old crap out within five or six months of making it, there are a few lines in this that still make me chuckle. Perhaps I'll do another this year? We'll see. It'd be a nice juxtaposition of my character roster in 200X and my contemporary. You might recognize a handful of these bastards (though all have since been altered significantly over the years), but a good amount of them have since been abandoned for one reason or another.

The barrel of salt Dick refers to comes from a really old gag I did way back when with a character I've long since abandoned...

That's all for tonight, folks!

EXPONENT: PETE VS BADGER^2

First badgers, now a ferocious step up. This was for a Tailgate Guide highlighting Purdue versus the Michigan Wolverines.

And that's all I can squeeze out for now, I've got lots more shit to do.

'Till next time, my awesome audience of four or five!

EXPONENT: OF BADGERS AND PIXAR

Boy, have I been busy with the Exponent lately.

Tailgate Guide featuring Purdue VS Wisconsin and their badgers.

 Buzz here and the following are for an article covering Bob Peterson, one of the big cheeses at Pixar, who is an awesome guy and also a Purdue graduate that worked for the Exponent, to boot!

 Dug.

 

Mr. Ray.

 

And the everyman, himself.

That's all for tonight, folks!

A PRELUDE

Oh, mother fuck, ladies and gentlemen. I've been retarded busy composing some serious Exponent graphics the past couple days, and will be up until the wee hours of this morning. So I made something stupid out of components of the upcoming Tailgate Guide. (Click it, it moves! Shit!)

Yes, it's an homage to that. Pass the beer nuts.

I'll be back again soon to dump more colored shit.

Max out!

LOOKS LIKE IT'S TIME TO OIL UP

Been a while since the last post, huh? Let's have another update, some old things, some new! Shit!

A little bit of oil never hurt nobody.

Some time ago I was challenged by a friend to draw the human equivalent to his cat, Booboo; A sorry sack of lard that always looked like he was on the verge of tears, couldn't meow properly, and pissed at the drop of a hat.

SWING YOUR ARMS, FROM SIDE TO SIDE!

God rest your soul, Captain Lou Albano.

A lil' vignette elaborating on my two most boring characters, Niel and Colleen. My sense of humor is just as highbrow as ever.

Speaking of comics, I've started whipping up some buffer strips for my eventual premier spring semester. Here's the first.

And the second. Old followers might recognize the joke here, it's one of my oldies, distilled into a mere four panels. Lost a bit of fun, but it's all for the greater good.

This was originally just a practice sketch of Niel, but I snuck his wife in at the last second because the page looked empty... And pregnant women happen to be quite good at taking up room. The afterthought kinda completely fucked the sense of space but it still turned out cute enough not to incinerate.

For a short while after its release I was ass-deep in Blazblue, having sold my copy of Street Fighter IV to buy a Sega Saturn and it being the only 360 game I had for a few months. I've come to hate it now, but this still makes me laugh every time I see it kicking around in the oldies folder.

But I'd better stop before I run out of things to throw at you during another one of my dry spells.

Max out!

BASTARD ROLL CALL: CECILIA HSU

Time for an update in the dead of the night, motherfuckers! Tonight's intro is for my newest character, Sissy, whose design immediately reached the plateau of stupidity the first time I ever drew her. That's... A good sign, right?

Circa: 2010
Age: 24
Height: 7'6"
Weight: 144 pounds
Occupation: Scout

Sissy is an alcoholic ninja, and protects a plantation from deadly, highly contaminant zombie shit. But that's a story you'll hear about later.

She grew up with doting Chinese immigrant parents, and was pushed to going Ivy League for mathematics, but instead she sought the life of a vagabond, because she saw Charlie Chaplin pull it off successfully. Sissy ran away from home in Arizona meandered to Mexico. It was there she met her first true friend, Peñor, who was shortly killed in front of her own eyes in a tragic pinata accident. Taking his sombrero, the traumatized vagrant took to the bottle and made a years-long, drunken pilgrimage to the Great Plains, where she found a farm owned by a rich German lunatic. Otto took her in and sheltered her in exchange for cold-blooded zombie murder, and thus, Sissy found her niche in life, killing zombies by day, and sneaking into Otto's mansion by night to drink all his wine and sex his butler.

There's a lot more to her than that, but I don't want to spoil any more fun stuff as the comic she stars in is currently being scripted.

Theme song

EXPONENT: STOGIES AND CHIHUAHUAS

Another week, another graphic. I can't be arsed to explain, just enjoy the juxtaposition. And no, I don't know where the other half of that chihuahua is. Gruesome.

As an added bonus, a certain Other Max's mysterious dreamlady. Thought she might be fun to eke out in five minutes.

Max out!

BASTARD ROLL CALL: CHUCK BALLS

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

EXPONENT: PETE'S ARCADE

Done in a blazing two hours (would've been less time and higher quality if I had my tablet handy), a cover image for the Homecoming special in the Exponent! Go ahead and laugh at how awful it is!

I'VE GOT A POCKETFUL OF MIRACLES

Instead of feeding you all another fistful of oldies while I'm away from the scanner for the weekend, I'll just toss up a handful of disorganized new crap.

Kaiser Sigma had to be the stupidest powersuit of all time

Character concept for an up-and-coming comic about zombies, dirt, and poop

Quick test with brushpen and sepia markers, starring Colleen and her hellspawn

Couple of off-the-cuff portraits of the starring characters in a friend's freshly-finished novel

Cory and Jenny's incredible, handsome-ass space elves

Super-flattering self-portrait for a Comp website assignment

That wraps up tonight's onslaught of garbage. Back to pissing away my long weekend with video games and unproductivity!

YE OLDE TRILOGY

Apologies for the recent dry spell here, despite having no graphics this week, the workload's been pretty heavy. Us warriors of Comp are cobbling together websites, and only just recently learned our deadline was thankfully pushed back another week. More doodles are keen to follow, but now you'll have to settle for more delicious oldies.

Back in the shitkicking summers of underclassman high school, my old gang and I spent many a humid night on the porch, fiddling with a Genesis emulator on a dinosaur of a computer. For a while there was a bout of PS4 madness, much to Aubig's jubilation. On two different occasions, he got a hold of my pad and wrote something stupid on a blank sheet. What followed was a series of drawings that would go down in history.

EXPONENT: YOU JUST GET ME TO THE PRIMARY, Y'HEAR?

Little bit of Strangelove behind today's graphic!

BASTARD ROLL CALL: NELL

Next up is Nell, a certain someone who started as a nobody pugilist and wound up as one of my most fucked-up little animals.

Circa: ~2006
Age: 20
Height: 5'1"
Weight: 138 pounds
Occupation: Devil's advocate

Nell's past and family tree are shrouded in horrible legal name-changes, otherworldly poop, and Irish jackassery. Her now-estranged father, Arthur, lost a bar bet and wound up changing the family name to O'Fuckaduck (court found it too funny to pass up, owing likely to drunkenness), naming his firstborn daughter William, and later lavishing his younger son with a normal name and apprenticeship in the baffling Irish Art of Fighting (trademark?).

William went on to meet up with a crack squadron of deplorable superhumans, engaging in unspeakable shenanigans with a cult founded in the lifestyle of Mythbusting, squaring off against George Foreman on several occasions, killing dozens of people and getting away with it, you know, stuff. Somewhere along the way a shambling gorilla-monolith of a man by the name of Garcia Jenkman crawled through her entire digestive tract looking for a pair of keys, shitting his mystical Garcia poop all the while. Bill somehow recovered, and thereafter exhibited unprecedented resilience and physical fortitude; however she's also missing nearly all of her internal organs, somehow surviving with nothing but a damaged knot of intestines and a brain that hasn't quite been firing on all cylinders since.

She's settled down recently, but not before exacting revenge for her embarrassing name and spoiled brother, weaving through stacks of paperwork and court dates to change her name to Nell and her brother Shit Tits. All's well that ends well, now she just pisses away the days socializing with and/or antagonizing my ensemble for a rise. Nigh invincibility has skewed her moral compass, and she's not above ruining someone's day for a round of excitement...

Theme Song

SWEAR TO GOD, NOT INTO LOLICON

Darkstalkers was a fighting game series I didn't get into until waay later than the other fundamentals, mostly owing to never having found a copy of 3 early on and having no fucking clue what MAME was until I was fifteen or so. Regardless, I spent a long while feeling indifferent to the freakshow ensemble, using Sasquatch and Victor, never really learning the nuances because nothing clicked.

Then one day I found out Lilith was, for all intents and purposes, a sprightly, adorable Dan that threw lethal dance parties and got way more naked. Haven't turned back since.

EXPONENT: NO MERCY FOR THE SMOKERS

God, was this a mess. I was assigned this graphic sometime over the weekend, and went through two drafts before settling on an extreme landscape. One ambitious iteration involved a lineless look and Prismacolor markers until two of the blues dried out. Thursday sneaks up behind me and I manage to cobble this together at the very last minute.

Ashamed? Extremely, but it's something, and I'm running out of old sketches.

EXPONENT: BECAUSE I GOT HIGH

Fresh off the PSD, another Exponent graphic!

Coming soon to Purdue are musical performers Casting Crowns and Afroman. Bit of an odd juxtaposition, but hey, I ain't judgin' nobody. Ten more bucks in the bank!