Guardian Heroes just landed on XBLA today. Celebratory Han GET

OH YEAH

I have a blog!

Some pretty nasty shit went down over the summer, it's most of the reason I went quiet, but I won't rattle on about it here. Some pretty awesome shit has happened since, too! For one, I'm out of the College of Science, and am now pursuing a double major in Technical Writing and German. That means, namely, I won't be ass-deep in horrible, horrible, time consuming homework anymore, and that means more time for me to make the sort of butt-ass retarded garbage that made me famous in the first place.

In other news, I quit my job at The Exponent, at least for the semester. I had the chance to jump into an awesome copy editing internship, and for some reason that was a conflict of interest under current Expo rule... Go figure. I don't know if, or when, I'll be back there (depends on if I can land successive internships and new senior staff don't find it a problem), but it was a good run. Here're the last two assignments I had!

Jazzy little centerpiece for a performance on campus.

One quick little something about whether college athletes should be paid for their efforts beyond a free ride.

And now we return to our regularly scheduled shitfuckery!

It's DinoMax's tank, Buxington! An old sketch from a while back, it really illuminates my utter impatience with drawing armor. Maybe sometime I'll give her another leg! Or, better yet, just try again later!

It's that big oily bastard Hakan again!

So I was the smartass that threw together the callout poster for PFGC.

Naturally, it was in order to fuck it up at some point.

Lastly, although it's not my own work per se, at the beginning of the semester, I modded my TE stick with some custom art from everyone's favorite Slipshine artist, Mamabliss! I must be the only one that doesn't commission gigantress/furry/vore/TF/scat from her.

And that's all for tonight, fuckhats! I'll be back again sometime soon!

CLEFAIRY IS MY FAVORITE PIKACHU

Ahoy, there, unclefuckers! Short update here to assure that I have not just fallen off the face of the internet, it's just been a pretty lazy, non-Expo-fueled summer, and a lot of what I have drawn will probably never make it onto the blogroll. But! Hey! Let me show you my Pokemans.

Sometime a few weeks ago, a pal and I were passively talking about how horrible and uninspired the later generation Pokemon were in comparison to the original 151, and, to a lesser extent, the G/S brigade. Eventually that old-fart reminiscing snowballed into mild interest in rekindling our Pokefever of youth, and decided that the (somewhat) recent re-makes, LeafGreen and FireRed, would be an amusing diversion.

Within a few sessions, we were logging HOURS on the damn games on a daily basis. Suddenly talking about the little monsters that lived in our balls became a daily, normal, enthusiastic thing, and we'd flip through pages about attacks and items with abandon on Bulbapedia. Within days, a third bastard of the posse had fallen for the series and its grindy wiles, and even my lovely girlfriend, who swore off the series forever in boiling frustration, returned to the retarded fray.

 As things stand, I have a solid six members of my awful parade of critter fuckshittery that isn't about to change anytime soon, mostly because they're arguably the derpiest Pokemon of the entire cast...

Here we have... ANUS PARTY the Exeggutor, CUNTFRYER the Electrode, DIABETES the Pidgeot, HEPATITIS the Porygon, BUTT HOLE the Magmar, and CH'DING (Not my doing, I traded for him and the goddamn Name Rater won't lemme change it) the Farfetch'd. The drawing itself was more of an awful, impatient midnight sketch than a premier effort, but my friends enjoyed the honest terribadness enough to warrant not tossing it. I'll probably tackle the idea again with much more vigor at a later date. There are much more important things to draw first.

A more comprehensive, if embryonic, look at ANUS PARTY, scrawled out in mere minutes while eating with Olivia. Not too proud of it, but content is content!

And there is the mighty BUTT HOLE, rising superstar of the team. He poops to see.


What follows is a special treat from Olivia herself! She took the liberty of fleshing out her own Pikachus in spectacular fashion.

This would be SYPHILIS, quite possibly the most mentally challenged Vulpix to ever grace thirty-two bits. Up until learning Flamethrower, she would display her rampant ineptitude unabashedly, missing all sorts of attacks and relying on save states after confusing an opposing Pokemon to do any damage whatsoever.

Here she is paired with CLIT RING, an uncontested badass powerhouse of the team, caught in the midst of the novel double battle. Awww, she's helping!

Just in case you were wondering, when she evolved, she retained every iota of retardation.

That's all for tonight, folks! I'll be back... Whenever!

IT'S NOT MY BUTT

Howdy dookie, oh seldom followers!

Well, first off, there's that, the first thing I ever doodled on the tiny, brilliant, matte touchscreen of the Pandora.  Why the Swedish Chef comes so quickly and easily I'll never be too sure...

Tonight we'll have a little gross retrospective while I pull some new shit out to place on the Poop Conveyor Belt. Always stacked with crap, seldom moving...

Well, first off, some new things.

T. Hawk the Tank Engine.

The return of our beloved Candi, whorebear extraordinaire.

Okay, yes, onto a dump of oldies!

This is quite a relic: an extremely quick and filthy three-page comic in a diabolical scheme to scoop up some extra credit for my less-than-stellar Physics grade during Junior year in high school. It was scrawled down at the last possible moment and I was talking out of my ass the entire time, but MC Hefner approved anyway because he had a soft spot for my drawings and smarmy, raunchy humor. I still snort at some of the lines I came up with back in the day, so it's almost worth posting. Note the artifacts of a bygone age: Dr. Hairy, a starring character that was eventually dropped due to him essentially playing Dick's role but with a beret, and Dick himself with what appears to be more mammalian features. There was a period in which too many people were mistaking him for a mouse or monkey or whatever large-eared critter have you, so I eventually just said fukkit and considered him an unspecified mammal just to keep from explaining that he was a goddamn peanut every other day.

 That would be Raja and Rune (Lutz?), of Phantasy Star fame. Don't even ask how this came about, you were watching him play with dook without complaint a few months ago.

Arakune, of Blazblue lore, playing with a cute little puppy the only way he knows how.

An archaic attempt to learn Japanese on my part. It's, uh, a Tanuki, in case you can't read Moonspeak.

A margin doodle from Senior year that became bafflingly  popular.

Lastly, a portrait of the venerable Doctor Garcia Jenkman, the poop guy. I''m still kinda impressed with  the grain and grittiness I got with dry gradients back when, and looking at this makes me wanna try it again.

That's all for now, ladies and gentlebitches! I'll be back again soon with more new stuff, and then a potentially large post about the obnoxious things I got away with scrawling on tests and homework in school (even, yes, college stuff.).

Max out!

WELL I'M BACK

I've got a cock made out of platinum!

What are the haps, motherbitches? No, I have not died, school was just more of a pain in the ass for the past couple months than any other semester of my life, but there's plenty of good news that follows.

Had to stay quiet about it until she quit her job (because she was my boss-- scandalous much?), but I managed to luck out and hook up with a lovely, lovely gal. Saccharine things might happen upon this blog, which scares me, but I guess it proves that my cold and shriveled heart does, in fact, exist.

Now, on to the remaining Spring 2011 Expo graphics!

I don't know who the fuck The Strokes are, but I had to draw them.

Graduating graphic.

Something for NASA that never got printed. Holy shit, a gradient! I AM THE PHOTOSHOP WIZARD, APPRECIATE MY FILTHY VOODOO

Sorry if the descriptions are terse, but I drew these a long time ago and the memories are fuzzy. Wish I could blame tequila but it all comes down to good old-fashioned harrowing work and sleep deprivation. Thank God I'm leaving the College of Science.

On to less worky shit!

Nell got a bit of polish recently. She's slowly turning into some sort of stout, snarky, terrifying beefcake. I'm okay with that.

I don't think I ever posted this. A good comrade of mine, Brett, has a spirit animal. And that spirit animal is a whale in a top hat that is on fire.

I also drew my roommate, Dave, riding a sheep. He's currently in China, on missionary business. Godspeed, dammit!

Oh, shitfart, I inked something that I didn't draw for once! I've been shoehorned into the creative process of Olivia and her mysterious tales of werewolves and Jack the Rippers. Plenty of that sort of stuff will show up here in due time, just you wait and see. This guy is Jack, and he likes him some bumwine.

Cory and Jennifer, MLP edition. And no, I don't watch that show like everyone on the internet. Nor do I play Minecraft. Fuck, I feel lonely on here.

Ever since the Megaman Legends 3 blogroll got back on track, I've been piddling about with the first two on the off hours, thanks to the Pandora. Did a really quick sketch of the Bonnes, and it won't be the last.

BISOOOOOOONN!! This was a gift for Chris, of PFGC fame, who just graduated. If you can hear me, Munin, you fuckin' rocked, hope your endeavors outside of academia go well.

That's all I'll throw on here for now, doucheketeers. I'll be back again soon (this time I'm not kidding!), with some more dusty old goodness, werewolf shitfuckery, or maybe even some stuff on a topic I've always chickened out on elaborating on to the public. Time'll tell!

Max out!