What it is, poopgoers!
I come bearing bad news and good news. It brings me much mixed feelings to do so, but the Poop Conveyor Belt you see here is going to be shut down, its myriad of turds to gather dust in the mighty machine. The climate of the internet is changing, and Blogspot seems to alienate people more than anything (unless you happen to be famous or on BS for the past several years), which does not bode well for my hopes to whore myself out for money anytime soon.
You can probably tell where this is going.
http://poopconveyorbelt.tumblr.com/
As much as I dislike Tumblr for all sorts of reasons, it's taken off for the world in the same way Livejournal did years back for twelve-year-olds. I still don't like it very much, but then again, I really don't like what they've done to this new-entry layout on Blogspot, and I don't want to shell out for/deal with Wordpress. And to hell with DeviantArt, that's why I started a blog in the first place. What is a finicky artist to do?
This Tumblr thing might just blow up in my face and I'll return here, smoldering and swearing through my chipped and missing teeth. Don't remove those bookmarks yet, the five of you! In the meantime, look to the shiny, stupid, simple new blog for more art and bullshit.
Max out!
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
THE POOP WILL FLOW LIKE WINE
Like always, I can't stick to a schedule. But the winds of change are a'blowin', and there might be some pretty diverse activity going on the Poop Conveyor Belt.
Many may now know it yet, but I've switched majors for the last time, and am finally playing to my strengths in German and technical writing. Given the workload for both, I've been doing substantially more writing than drawing since the semester started, on top of finally composing an article for Hardcore Gaming 101, which you may soon see on the site in the next month or so. That said, I may start posting written content on the PCB as well, just to keep a consistent pencil-thin shitlet dragging before your eyes.
No promises, though, for I am just an old man, plus me balls are saggy.
In the meantime, I can dump the sparse selection of doodles that have happened since... Jesus, October or so. It's less than it should be.
Back when I was in Linguistics we wouldn't turn in our homework until after we'd discussed it, and for some reason one of the freshies couldn't wrap their mind around syntax. This happened.
Some time later, I got restless again and ended up discovering that the teacher was masterfully cultured.
Some sketch of Zero from when I tore through Mega Man X4-X5 last fall.
It's Gene! Olivia played through God Hand recently, and subsequently developed an acute admiration for that violent putz. It's been a while since I pulled some fanart for the masterpiece, more might follow.
Over break, the missus and I engaged in the DnDs with a group of her friends, the name of the game being random rolls for everything. My character was a chaotic-good hobgoblin fighter, dubbed Princess Consuela. About as smart as a bag of used diapers, you can imagine.
Olivia wound up with Calaghy, some sort of lawful-evil girl with gills, I forget the race, but she had the capacity to summon some sort of familiar. Poor broad had the lowest intelligence in the group, and was thus impressed by absolutely everything.
Oh, shit, sons, we also got into League of Legends over Thanksgiving break! I've grown very fond of the fattest and sassiest champion of all.
Bush killed my pappy
Foci of ours as of late, Ziggs and Riven.
A little bit of Cave Story fanart following my recent completion of Cave Story + (Did the Mimiga Mask playthrough first, of course). Also, a rare streak of invention that will change the face of plumbing forever.
Niel was in desperate need of some refinement when I noticed I could scarcely draw his face/hair consistently. More details and shit GET, next I'll polish up my other aesthetically ambiguous monsters, like Nell, Greg, and Colleen.
I punctuate this update with a skeptical Chuck. Schoenen Tag noch, meine Damen und Herren!
Many may now know it yet, but I've switched majors for the last time, and am finally playing to my strengths in German and technical writing. Given the workload for both, I've been doing substantially more writing than drawing since the semester started, on top of finally composing an article for Hardcore Gaming 101, which you may soon see on the site in the next month or so. That said, I may start posting written content on the PCB as well, just to keep a consistent pencil-thin shitlet dragging before your eyes.
No promises, though, for I am just an old man, plus me balls are saggy.
In the meantime, I can dump the sparse selection of doodles that have happened since... Jesus, October or so. It's less than it should be.
Back when I was in Linguistics we wouldn't turn in our homework until after we'd discussed it, and for some reason one of the freshies couldn't wrap their mind around syntax. This happened.
Some time later, I got restless again and ended up discovering that the teacher was masterfully cultured.
Some sketch of Zero from when I tore through Mega Man X4-X5 last fall.
It's Gene! Olivia played through God Hand recently, and subsequently developed an acute admiration for that violent putz. It's been a while since I pulled some fanart for the masterpiece, more might follow.
Over break, the missus and I engaged in the DnDs with a group of her friends, the name of the game being random rolls for everything. My character was a chaotic-good hobgoblin fighter, dubbed Princess Consuela. About as smart as a bag of used diapers, you can imagine.
Olivia wound up with Calaghy, some sort of lawful-evil girl with gills, I forget the race, but she had the capacity to summon some sort of familiar. Poor broad had the lowest intelligence in the group, and was thus impressed by absolutely everything.
Oh, shit, sons, we also got into League of Legends over Thanksgiving break! I've grown very fond of the fattest and sassiest champion of all.
Bush killed my pappy
Foci of ours as of late, Ziggs and Riven.
A little bit of Cave Story fanart following my recent completion of Cave Story + (Did the Mimiga Mask playthrough first, of course). Also, a rare streak of invention that will change the face of plumbing forever.
Niel was in desperate need of some refinement when I noticed I could scarcely draw his face/hair consistently. More details and shit GET, next I'll polish up my other aesthetically ambiguous monsters, like Nell, Greg, and Colleen.
I punctuate this update with a skeptical Chuck. Schoenen Tag noch, meine Damen und Herren!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
OH YEAH
I have a blog!
Some pretty nasty shit went down over the summer, it's most of the reason I went quiet, but I won't rattle on about it here. Some pretty awesome shit has happened since, too! For one, I'm out of the College of Science, and am now pursuing a double major in Technical Writing and German. That means, namely, I won't be ass-deep in horrible, horrible, time consuming homework anymore, and that means more time for me to make the sort of butt-ass retarded garbage that made me famous in the first place.
In other news, I quit my job at The Exponent, at least for the semester. I had the chance to jump into an awesome copy editing internship, and for some reason that was a conflict of interest under current Expo rule... Go figure. I don't know if, or when, I'll be back there (depends on if I can land successive internships and new senior staff don't find it a problem), but it was a good run. Here're the last two assignments I had!
Jazzy little centerpiece for a performance on campus.
One quick little something about whether college athletes should be paid for their efforts beyond a free ride.
And now we return to our regularly scheduled shitfuckery!
It's DinoMax's tank, Buxington! An old sketch from a while back, it really illuminates my utter impatience with drawing armor. Maybe sometime I'll give her another leg! Or, better yet, just try again later!
It's that big oily bastard Hakan again!
So I was the smartass that threw together the callout poster for PFGC.
Naturally, it was in order to fuck it up at some point.
Lastly, although it's not my own work per se, at the beginning of the semester, I modded my TE stick with some custom art from everyone's favorite Slipshine artist, Mamabliss! I must be the only one that doesn't commission gigantress/furry/vore/TF/scat from her.
And that's all for tonight, fuckhats! I'll be back again sometime soon!
Some pretty nasty shit went down over the summer, it's most of the reason I went quiet, but I won't rattle on about it here. Some pretty awesome shit has happened since, too! For one, I'm out of the College of Science, and am now pursuing a double major in Technical Writing and German. That means, namely, I won't be ass-deep in horrible, horrible, time consuming homework anymore, and that means more time for me to make the sort of butt-ass retarded garbage that made me famous in the first place.
And now we return to our regularly scheduled shitfuckery!
Lastly, although it's not my own work per se, at the beginning of the semester, I modded my TE stick with some custom art from everyone's favorite Slipshine artist, Mamabliss! I must be the only one that doesn't commission gigantress/furry/vore/TF/scat from her.
Monday, July 11, 2011
CLEFAIRY IS MY FAVORITE PIKACHU
Ahoy, there, unclefuckers! Short update here to assure that I have not just fallen off the face of the internet, it's just been a pretty lazy, non-Expo-fueled summer, and a lot of what I have drawn will probably never make it onto the blogroll. But! Hey! Let me show you my Pokemans.
Sometime a few weeks ago, a pal and I were passively talking about how horrible and uninspired the later generation Pokemon were in comparison to the original 151, and, to a lesser extent, the G/S brigade. Eventually that old-fart reminiscing snowballed into mild interest in rekindling our Pokefever of youth, and decided that the (somewhat) recent re-makes, LeafGreen and FireRed, would be an amusing diversion.
Within a few sessions, we were logging HOURS on the damn games on a daily basis. Suddenly talking about the little monsters that lived in our balls became a daily, normal, enthusiastic thing, and we'd flip through pages about attacks and items with abandon on Bulbapedia. Within days, a third bastard of the posse had fallen for the series and its grindy wiles, and even my lovely girlfriend, who swore off the series forever in boiling frustration, returned to the retarded fray.
As things stand, I have a solid six members of my awful parade of critter fuckshittery that isn't about to change anytime soon, mostly because they're arguably the derpiest Pokemon of the entire cast...
Here we have... ANUS PARTY the Exeggutor, CUNTFRYER the Electrode, DIABETES the Pidgeot, HEPATITIS the Porygon, BUTT HOLE the Magmar, and CH'DING (Not my doing, I traded for him and the goddamn Name Rater won't lemme change it) the Farfetch'd. The drawing itself was more of an awful, impatient midnight sketch than a premier effort, but my friends enjoyed the honest terribadness enough to warrant not tossing it. I'll probably tackle the idea again with much more vigor at a later date. There are much more important things to draw first.
A more comprehensive, if embryonic, look at ANUS PARTY, scrawled out in mere minutes while eating with Olivia. Not too proud of it, but content is content!
And there is the mighty BUTT HOLE, rising superstar of the team. He poops to see.
What follows is a special treat from Olivia herself! She took the liberty of fleshing out her own Pikachus in spectacular fashion.
This would be SYPHILIS, quite possibly the most mentally challenged Vulpix to ever grace thirty-two bits. Up until learning Flamethrower, she would display her rampant ineptitude unabashedly, missing all sorts of attacks and relying on save states after confusing an opposing Pokemon to do any damage whatsoever.
Here she is paired with CLIT RING, an uncontested badass powerhouse of the team, caught in the midst of the novel double battle. Awww, she's helping!
Just in case you were wondering, when she evolved, she retained every iota of retardation.
That's all for tonight, folks! I'll be back... Whenever!
Sometime a few weeks ago, a pal and I were passively talking about how horrible and uninspired the later generation Pokemon were in comparison to the original 151, and, to a lesser extent, the G/S brigade. Eventually that old-fart reminiscing snowballed into mild interest in rekindling our Pokefever of youth, and decided that the (somewhat) recent re-makes, LeafGreen and FireRed, would be an amusing diversion.
Within a few sessions, we were logging HOURS on the damn games on a daily basis. Suddenly talking about the little monsters that lived in our balls became a daily, normal, enthusiastic thing, and we'd flip through pages about attacks and items with abandon on Bulbapedia. Within days, a third bastard of the posse had fallen for the series and its grindy wiles, and even my lovely girlfriend, who swore off the series forever in boiling frustration, returned to the retarded fray.
As things stand, I have a solid six members of my awful parade of critter fuckshittery that isn't about to change anytime soon, mostly because they're arguably the derpiest Pokemon of the entire cast...
Here we have... ANUS PARTY the Exeggutor, CUNTFRYER the Electrode, DIABETES the Pidgeot, HEPATITIS the Porygon, BUTT HOLE the Magmar, and CH'DING (Not my doing, I traded for him and the goddamn Name Rater won't lemme change it) the Farfetch'd. The drawing itself was more of an awful, impatient midnight sketch than a premier effort, but my friends enjoyed the honest terribadness enough to warrant not tossing it. I'll probably tackle the idea again with much more vigor at a later date. There are much more important things to draw first.
A more comprehensive, if embryonic, look at ANUS PARTY, scrawled out in mere minutes while eating with Olivia. Not too proud of it, but content is content!
What follows is a special treat from Olivia herself! She took the liberty of fleshing out her own Pikachus in spectacular fashion.
This would be SYPHILIS, quite possibly the most mentally challenged Vulpix to ever grace thirty-two bits. Up until learning Flamethrower, she would display her rampant ineptitude unabashedly, missing all sorts of attacks and relying on save states after confusing an opposing Pokemon to do any damage whatsoever.
Here she is paired with CLIT RING, an uncontested badass powerhouse of the team, caught in the midst of the novel double battle. Awww, she's helping!
Just in case you were wondering, when she evolved, she retained every iota of retardation.
That's all for tonight, folks! I'll be back... Whenever!
Friday, June 17, 2011
IT'S NOT MY BUTT
Howdy dookie, oh seldom followers!
Well, first off, there's that, the first thing I ever doodled on the tiny, brilliant, matte touchscreen of the Pandora. Why the Swedish Chef comes so quickly and easily I'll never be too sure...
Tonight we'll have a little gross retrospective while I pull some new shit out to place on the Poop Conveyor Belt. Always stacked with crap, seldom moving...
Well, first off, some new things.
T. Hawk the Tank Engine.
The return of our beloved Candi, whorebear extraordinaire.
Okay, yes, onto a dump of oldies!
This is quite a relic: an extremely quick and filthy three-page comic in a diabolical scheme to scoop up some extra credit for my less-than-stellar Physics grade during Junior year in high school. It was scrawled down at the last possible moment and I was talking out of my ass the entire time, but MC Hefner approved anyway because he had a soft spot for my drawings and smarmy, raunchy humor. I still snort at some of the lines I came up with back in the day, so it's almost worth posting. Note the artifacts of a bygone age: Dr. Hairy, a starring character that was eventually dropped due to him essentially playing Dick's role but with a beret, and Dick himself with what appears to be more mammalian features. There was a period in which too many people were mistaking him for a mouse or monkey or whatever large-eared critter have you, so I eventually just said fukkit and considered him an unspecified mammal just to keep from explaining that he was a goddamn peanut every other day.
That would be Raja and Rune (Lutz?), of Phantasy Star fame. Don't even ask how this came about, you were watching him play with dook without complaint a few months ago.
Arakune, of Blazblue lore, playing with a cute little puppy the only way he knows how.
An archaic attempt to learn Japanese on my part. It's, uh, a Tanuki, in case you can't read Moonspeak.
A margin doodle from Senior year that became bafflingly popular.
Lastly, a portrait of the venerable Doctor Garcia Jenkman, the poop guy. I''m still kinda impressed with the grain and grittiness I got with dry gradients back when, and looking at this makes me wanna try it again.
That's all for now, ladies and gentlebitches! I'll be back again soon with more new stuff, and then a potentially large post about the obnoxious things I got away with scrawling on tests and homework in school (even, yes, college stuff.).
Max out!
Tonight we'll have a little gross retrospective while I pull some new shit out to place on the Poop Conveyor Belt. Always stacked with crap, seldom moving...
Well, first off, some new things.
Okay, yes, onto a dump of oldies!
A margin doodle from Senior year that became bafflingly popular.
That's all for now, ladies and gentlebitches! I'll be back again soon with more new stuff, and then a potentially large post about the obnoxious things I got away with scrawling on tests and homework in school (even, yes, college stuff.).
Max out!
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